My life has been far from perfect but I have a whole lot of privileges. And one the hardest thing I've ever had to do is accept and acknowledge my privileges. Because you see, I have always drawn my life equivalent to the one's in the magazine. Because even though I'm privilege in many ways I have felt short in many other.
I always have a war on going inside of me. The inner indecisiveness that doesn't have a compass pointing due north. So, maybe everywhere I look I'm drawn to point out what I lack rather to what I already have. The inner me fighting every moment to better than itself moments ago. It cringes at 10 years old me. It cringes at me of yesterday. It cringes at today's me. And most probably it will cringe at tomorrow's me. The Blessed Unrest!
I can taste my own blood wounded in a battle fought by me with me. The war never comes to an end. But then again how does one achieve victory over oneself?
We live in society where we are taught to be satisfied in what we have. But then again, we are taught to work our hardest to achieve what we lack. Such contradictions! And I, as a part of that society am no different to others. And I am constantly caught in a battle where I have decide whether to strive for more every waking hour or be happy in whatever I have.
Do I enjoy the moment and be content or keep my mind sharp and scarifice my today for a better tomorrow? But then again, who says I can not do both? There is no shame in wanting a better life for yourself. There is nothing wrong striving for perfection and at the same time being content in what we are at now.
So I guess that is what The Blessed Unrest means. I'm happy in where I am today. It's just that tomorrow I wouldn't be.