Tuesday, February 3, 2015

My Fears...

                     I fear a lot of things. One too many things to even begin with.

I fear anything that has more than four limbs. Spiders and cock roaches.
And things without any limbs. Snakes. And even things with four limbs.
I fear all insects. Excect perhaps butterfly, dragonfly and ants.
I think they're beautiful.

I do not have any fear of  the dark. But of what lies within that i can not see.
I've heard people say like "thing you're afraid of in the dark cannot see you either."
But I'm not willing to take any risk.

I fear heights and the feelings that I get standing on the top of something high.
That sudden urge to jump. Sometimes I do not trust myself.
I fear crossing roads. Once I've stood for 15 minutes on the other side before I actually took a step.
Only to take that step back.

I fear breaking the rules. I fear not being good enough.  I fear failures. I fear being the second best.
I fear writer's block. I fear one day, there might not be a tomorrow.
I fear little by little I'm loosing my essence. I fear little by little I'm loosing myself to depression.
I fear relationships. I fear a broken heart. I fear broken dreams and shattered hopes. I fear rejections.

I fear sheer amout of disbelief that people carry around me.
I fear that this water coloured world of mine  is slowly turning into the colour of tint.
I fear smiles turning to frowns. I fear ups turning to downs.
I fear my life has lost that spark. That it lacks that certain light.

I fear waking up with a dread, constant saddness by the days ahead.
I fear what i want and what I want to become.
I fear not being able to marry the person I love.
I fear not being able to start a family. (Oops! Sh*t got real deap)

But most of all. I fear that my fears will devour me.
That my obession of it will be the doom of me.
I fear not being fearless. I fear not living my life to it's fullest.
For I have so much to loose and so much to fear about,
I fear that one day I will not!!!


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