Art Is Risk!

The world is changing and it's changing fast. But not fast enough for me. And I have got only two choices; either slow down my pace for it to catch up or move ahead without turning my back. I choose the later because I want to make my life an artwork.  And Art is Risk.

                                                                   ...           

If it's about taking out my phone in the middle of the street to click a photo because I know it's going to turn out great. It's about doing just that.

If it's about screaming on top of my lungs to let out my emotions. It's about doing just that.

If it's about showing off my ass in tight fitted jeans because I know it's going to look cute. It's about doing just that.

If it's about walking in 6 inch high leather boots because I know I can rock it. It's about doing just that.

If it's about colouring my hair in shades of blue because I really want to. It's about doing just that.

If it's about dancing anywhere anytime without any music or tune because it makes me feel happy. It’s about doing just that.

If it's about taking a day off from everything and curling up in my bed when I'm low. It's about doing just that.

If it's about wearing clothes I'm comfortable in rather than clothes that are in fashion. It's about doing just that.

If it's about speaking for what I truely believe in even though I'm all alone. It's about doing just that.

If it's about writing handwritten letters instead of texting someone because I feel it carries more value. It's about doing just that.

If it's about walking right past my bullies without any fear because I know their opinions won't affect my confidence.  It's about doing just that.

If it's about never giving up hope and being an unicorn(highly optimistic). It’s about doing just that.

If it's about having a vision board to remind me that there is so much left to be done in this life. It's about doing just that.

If it's about having an obession over a hobby and taking it to a next level because I simply believe in myself. It's about doing just that.

Life is short. Spend it wise. Don't wait for things to happen. Make it happen. Art is risk and life is an art. Not living it like you want to is the biggest risk of all.

                                                                    ...

My Fears...

                     I fear a lot of things. One too many things to even begin with.
      
                                                                ...

I fear anything that has more than four limbs. Spiders and cock roaches.
And things without any limbs. Snakes. And even things with four limbs.
I fear all insects. Excect perhaps butterfly, dragonfly and ants.
I think they're beautiful.

I do not have any fear of  the dark. But of what lies within that i can not see.
I've heard people say like "thing you're afraid of in the dark cannot see you either."
But I'm not willing to take any risk.

I fear heights and the feelings that I get standing on the top of something high.
That sudden urge to jump. Sometimes I do not trust myself.
I fear crossing roads. Once I've stood for 15 minutes on the other side before I actually took a step.
Only to take that step back.

I fear breaking the rules. I fear not being good enough.  I fear failures. I fear being the second best.
I fear writer's block. I fear one day, there might not be a tomorrow.
I fear little by little I'm loosing my essence. I fear little by little I'm loosing myself to depression.
I fear relationships. I fear a broken heart. I fear broken dreams and shattered hopes. I fear rejections.

I fear sheer amout of disbelief that people carry around me.
I fear that this water coloured world of mine  is slowly turning into the colour of tint.
I fear smiles turning to frowns. I fear ups turning to downs.
I fear my life has lost that spark. That it lacks that certain light.

I fear waking up with a dread, constant saddness by the days ahead.
I fear what i want and what I want to become.
I fear not being able to marry the person I love.
I fear not being able to start a family. (Oops! Sh*t got real deap)

But most of all. I fear that my fears will devour me.
That my obession of it will be the doom of me.
I fear not being fearless. I fear not living my life to it's fullest.
For I have so much to loose and so much to fear about,
I fear that one day I will not!!!

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